Im alive...haven't updated this thing in a long time so I am just putting this little message out. Gonna write something nice and juicy by the end of the week...I promise. ^.^

Life is good, can't really see anything on the horizon to ruin it. *thumbs up* I really don't post that much deep shit on this thing unless I am pissed off and I need to rant to an anonymous crowd. Really don't give a fuck who reads it. People who I socially pick off know it way ahead of time before I bitch about them on this thing.

Ok, so here is something interesting. The girl in my class who told me she would never speak to me ever again after beating her drunked fiance into the ground on multiple occasions (she only knows of the one time though teehee). She finally broke the silence and asked me "why did you do it?" I told her "you know why, we were talking, he was drunk and took it the wrong way, then he tried to put me on my back. I gave him his chance to back off." She said that she knew and understood, but here was what threw me off. She then asked me "well when I was being so shitty to you, why did you tell me off?" I replied "Well im sorry, but you started it and I am not one to kiss someones ass, especially if I am not in the wrong." There was a long silence at that point. She then ended the conversation with "who do you think you are?". All I could do is smile and say "I know who I am, and i'll get back to you on that, maybe a phone call."
So I guess what I am trying to get at is who am I. I think I have a good idea. I like to think I am the last of a dying breed of men. I live by a code, like do not cross your brother or sister, even if they are going to cross you first, take it and roll with the blows, if what they did was so bad, drop them down a peg and show them no love. I am sick of seeing all these quote unquote "friends" and their little plays for power. I think you all need to hear this (and the sad thing is I am not even singling one person out, this goes for everyone.) WHY FIGHT FOR THE TOP? BEING LIKE THE ALPHA DOG IN THAT GROUP IS LIKE BEING THE SMARTEST KID WITH DOWN SYNDROME? Y'ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS NICE TO BE IN THE SPOTLIGHT AND TO BE quote unquote "POPULAR" FOR ONCE IN YOU BULLSHIT LITTLE LIVES, BUT IN THE REAL WORLD YOU ARE NOTHING, YOU UNEDUCATED FUCKS WILL NOT ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING OTHER THAN BRINGING IN ANOTHER GENERATION OF MISERY TO THIS PLANET. THE SOONER YOU COME TO TERMS WITH THIS, THE SOONER YOU CAN GET OVER YOURSELVES, MEND THE MULTIPLE WOUNDS YOUR LITTLE SHARP TOUNGES HAVE OPENED, AND MAYBE NOT KILL YOURSELVES WHEN YOU COME UP ON 40 AND WONDER WHY YOU ARE ALL ALONE.
Rawr, ok that was quite a little rant I just went on there, to be continued... I promise ;)

The answer issss... yes! Yes I live like a boss...and i've got limited connects...It's all me baby!

Feeling good, got to pull some numbers...yeaaaaaaaah!

Ya know? I'm going to have a good year. Just have a gut feeling about this one...Slowly moving out of this dump of a year and moving into something better. Yeah!

As we all should know we are in a constant state of change. For a select few this is a welcome thing. To the vast majority it is next to the four horsemen coming out the ground and ridin through dooming us all. To sum it up, once again i am stuck in a tiff between two main parties in my life. Not that i am expected to choose sides, but i see myself being more the voice of reason. The one problem is one side is understanding and the other is stubborn like a mofo. People want my opinion, but they never take my advice... The don't listen to my logic....oh well enough for now

up late thinking about things, thinking about a fucking crazy dream i had. Too tired to really go into detail. Ask if you want to know.

a lot of shit has been floating around about "friendship", "trust" and "loyalty" (not in my immediate group of friends). Seriously for months now it has been so and so has stabbed me in the back, so and so is talking shit behind my back and wont admit to it, and my personal favorite im sick of childhood games. This is what i have been hearing from not one, but multiple sources. I mean come on people this shit is getting old. Now if someone is playing games with you and they dont have the cojones to admit it to you...why go back to them? Is it fear of being alone and having no friends? Would you settle for a back of shit and be dirty instead of having nothing and being clean? I mean the math is simple, if someone is being a shitty (and i use this term loosely) friend...maybe you should ditch them. If your sick of childish games, it's simple step the fuck out of the mass of preschoolers which surround you and step up into the real world. Because thats where majority of those people are. They are scared to step to the plate because they know the real world will just write them off and won't loose any sleep over it. For real kids, it is about time to grow up and step up. If not, just please don't act surprised next time someone stabs you in the back and nuts in your eye.

I'm moving which means no interwebs...you need me, hit my cell.

I don't know, but I think I just need to put this out there so here it goes....I've been having a series of strange horribly fucked up dreams. I think the starting one was on the day of the earthquake....I had a dream that I was in the apartment with my roommie and other people who i knew and we hit this string of bad weather. I mean severly fucked up weather, lightning streaking across the sky, thunder which sounded like someone fired a 105 right next to your head...green skys hail the size of golf balls. Then the tornados came. Just came in like a broom and swept people, cars, and buildings off of the face of the earth...just like that, no more. The freaky thing is that with all the fury, destruction, and mayhem going on around me...it circled me, but never really got close to the point where it could do harm....more to be posted.

I'm back.....that will be all.

You Dare Front On me And Fucking Get Caught In A HeatwaveFire....Burn Baby...Burn.....I've Got That Fire, Fire Baby, Got That Fire So Burn Baby Burn.

From the look and sound of things going on around me, it appears the whole world is in a change. People who I call my family for one reason or another are changing face and yes i can feel it happening to me as well. There hasn't been a sudden direct impact to suddenly jade or change my views, but it has been a subtle hatred and rage spawning in the depths of where my heart used to be. I mean i've crushed hopes and dreams of people and I still feel cleaner...than a majority of the people who i have recently associated with. I am surrounded by people with no honor, no morals, no code...just floating aimlessly through life sucking on the remaineder of whats good in world in hopes to fufill the emptiness in their lives and souls. I'm afraid if i remain here I will to soon fall from grace, fall to nothingness. It seems out here i have been taking one step foward and two steps back. In a situation that should have ended in pointless emotionless sex which i would have taken because well lets face it, i love sex and i am single, but i said no and i turned it down....last night on the other hand i found myself front row far audience right at hairbangers ball making out with this girl for no damn reason. mack, just to mack and i found myself in the situation of if sex was offered i would take it. Falling back to old habits. What was really strange was during this mack time i felt something new...this ancient beast in me beginning to unleash itself, this wave of animalistic behaviorism screaming to get out. I started to begin to ride this wave of what seemed like this animalistic frenzy. I don't know if it was the girl, if it was the tounge ring, the music, or a combination of the three, but it all came down to two people on the dancefloor everything around me in a shade of smoke and black with the faint sound of music and me feeling myself slowly begin lose myself. I can't be moving towards a loss of control, not now...too many things still need to be done. More to be posted later...

~T

Ok, i guess im posting to let people know i'm alive...like they care on this thing. Ha! Well some people do and shit i'm still fucking kicking. Life has been great...babes and bucks baby! I got it all. I've gotten back into teeaching after a brief break. Not the conventinal paid teaching children, but teaching young and old the facts of life. Now i know what your thinking i'm full of shit right, but certain people have been really keen on my insight and I have noticed improvement in their behavior and overall disposition. Thinking of leaving WIU at the end of the school year and either hit up Northern or perhaps Loyola. It all depends if i want to begin the long expensive road of Dentistry or if I want to make the easier cheaper move into sociology and philosophy. I've lost touch with some people this year sad to say (most of it over petty reasons...others just distance and inconvinience). Some of these people who i have lost touch with i regret not telling them i admired them and loved hanging with them for their determination and grit. I mean i'm out here at western with spoiled little rich kids who are to modest to admit they have money and refuse to help people out with an evening, but when it comes to the end of the month with them having no job, not having to pay rent or bills whoops i only spent 500-1000 dollars i guess i have to tone it down next month or my daddy will lower my spending limit to a grand and a half. I mean when I have money I hope I came of as generous. I grew up on the philosophy of if you lend out money and expect someone to pay you back you are going to be strongly disapointed and if lending that money will muss up a friendship don't do it... I noticed also with these trends those kids tend not to really have any support structure and never learned to be strong for themselves. It's kinda sad...kinda very sad. I guess thats the way of the world though. If you never had to worry about anything or buck up because then why start now. hmmmm. I've just noticed that i've had to be there for them and be strong for them instead of the people who had to struggle to get where they are at. I mean with them im not strong for them i'm more of a support and being strong with them...that i admire.

Well it has been a while since i posted on this thing, but then again nothing really ground shattering has happened to me. My life has been pretty average, not to many ups or downs so i guess that will be all till something big comes up. Well im gonna enjoy a dim shower with some candles lit and some good fucking music. Peace out people!

So goddamn pissed off right now....that will be all. Cheers bitches!

It's weird how life totally turns and gives you a total 180. So many things to ponder...so many pro's and cons to take into consideration.

Damn why is it the only person i can bitch at abd get away with it far far away. All i can do out here is drink and waste away brain cells. No one understands...they think they do, but they don't and seem incapable of learning.

life is just great

Getting inked today bitches!!! Yeah!!